You Never Know How Much Darkness Is Living Inside A Person.

My title is from a movie, when I heard that quote it struck me. Not a single person knows how much darkness is living inside me. Pretty girl is what they call me from looking at me on the outside. Would if they could see inside, I wonder what they would call me then. My darkness is deep down & tends to come out when I get angry. My darkness is a different personality, shes stale face. Sometimes I wish she would control me all the time because she is strong. When i’m mad she whispers ” lets go outside & just walk and not come back”. I’m like a child listening to my mom who happens to be myself. I will get my stuff together and prepare to start my journey. She wants me to start over because she believes its so easy but its not. Where will I live, where will I work, how will I eat… so many questions flood through out my mind. We both agree that we want to be alone and free knowing it may not be safe. I just want to be happy and carefree. My darkness isn’t evil but its dark, she doesn’t want anyone around me. She knows what I deserve but shes never around when I really need her. She only talks when im in a bad mood. I just pray for better days & wait for this chapter in my life to end. What chapter is the one when Im truly happy & looking back at this in disgust. One day I know it will come, Ill be a pretty girl inside & out.